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Much of it gets exceedingly analytical, to the point where some men and women actually spend more time analyzing behaviors than actually, you know, behaving. We have so many friends who are in marriages that are not working well and they tell me all about what is wrong. Love them for who they are. Sex Matters… A Lot. And you both agree to leave it there, not bring it up every month for the next three years. Say this line.

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These are hard things to do.

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The reader emails back this up as well. The key is understanding that few of those waves have anything to do with the quality of the relationship — people lose jobs, family members die, couples relocate, switch careers, make a lot of money, lose a lot of money. Stonewalling withdrawing from an argument and ignoring your partner. How do you decide which vacations to go on? This is required of everyone daily, make it fun and happy and do it together. He has been able to narrow down four characteristics of a couple that tend to lead to divorces or breakups.

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